I usually have written my month in review by now, but I knew that the blog post for December would be very different from the usual review. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my life in 2013. Last night, I sat there and thought about how 2013 has been pretty darn good to me. No complaints here. I have lots of joy and have triumphed.
Recently, on bloglovin, I found a new blog to read, “Everything Happens for a Reason“. She did an introspective piece on
“25 Questions to Ask Yourself Before The End of The Year.” I am joining her by answering the questions. Are you ready? I am kind of scared for my own responses…
Decree Blouse | Mango Jeans | Zara Booties
1. What am I most proud of this year? I am most proud of closing Shop ICB. That was a HUGE decision to make. I don’t have to make many “grown up” decisions daily so this was a big one for me. The store has opened so many doors for me. I am proud that I took the leap a couple years back, and I am super proud of the leap I took when I decided to go to the next level. I let go of what I was most known for, and was forced to form a new identity.
2. How can I become a better ________? I want to be a better leader. Going into 2014, I really do plan on hiring a real staff. I don’t want to be considered a boss. We will all be thought leaders, but I want to make sure I am leading my team in the right direction. I want to be proud about what I am doing.
3. Where am I feeling stuck? To be completely honest, my love life feels stuck. I really don’t date, so that could be the first problem. Then, I think about the one time I gave love my all and I felt like I died when it ended. So, in 2014 I will be more proactive in my love life like I am in my business life. I want to be a wife and mom. It wont just happen, but I have to actually partake in the process.
4. Where do I need to allow myself grace? When things don’t come out right in business, I feel like a failure. There were plenty of projects I wanted to do this year. They didn’t happen. I have to accept that everything is not going to happen how I want it to and every dream does not become reality.
5. Am I passionate about my career? Can I scream hell yesssss? Shop ICB was draining me. It was becoming more of a burden than the happiness it started out as. I always loved helping people. I always loved being a source. With ICB Consults and Imperfect Concepts 2.o I get to do that. I get to provide valuable knowledge to a community of people wanting to build a successful company.
6. What lessons have I learned? You have to get in the game if you want to win. You cant sit on the sidelines hoping to win a Championship ring. You have to practice, you have to give it your all every time and most importantly you have to have a team that wants the same.
7. What did my finances look like? They look like shambles, but I am extremely proud of where I have come. This was the year of savings and putting things in perspective. I have the money to do the things I want to do, but I realize I really don’t need those Gucci pumps or YSL bags because 9 times out of ten I am just going to wear my Target shoes and trusty old vintage speedy. Money does not equal happiness. It does give me freedom. I sat down with my money manager and we talked retirement accounts and all that stuff. This was not a conversation or something I thought about four years, so my finances are going in a great direction.
8. How did I spend my free time? Watching TV series. Literally every TV show people raved about, I sat on Saturday and Sunday powering through the series. It was really fun. I normally watch 2 hours of TV a day, which is normally Primetime. Then, some days I don’t even watch TV because I’m wrapped up in working or reading books.
9. How well did I take care of my body, mind, and soul? This year was truly a mixed bag year. Some days I was great to all three, then others I was crappy. For a long time I hated how my body looked. I dealt with not feeling beautiful until I got to the end of college. I had to learn not to listen to other people’s projections about my body. I heard I was skinny, but then I would think I wasn’t really THAT skinny. I thought I was just taller than most. I just learned to do what made me happy with my body. I weigh the same amount I did in my high school years. I am fine with that. I am not trying to gain or lose weight. I need to practice yoga more. It would help to have a good yoga studio around, but I’ve got to make the most out of what I have in my town. My mind has blossomed. I am reading and learning more and more.
10. How have I been open-minded? I have had to be open minded even when I didn’t want to be. I listen very well to other thoughts and opinions.
11. When did I feel most creatively inspired? When I was driving, in the shower or reading. That’s when I get the most AHA moments or when the thinking process starts for me.
12. What projects have I completed? I have launched ICB Consults and written the ebooks that went with ICB Consults packages. It was a long process. Closing Shop ICB was a process too. My life is full of projects that take several small steps to start and complete. Next year I only have two projects on my calendar. They are going to be major.
13. How have I procrastinated? I’m currently stuck on the last two chapters of my new eBook. I have the time I just keep saying I will do it tomorrow. The research that goes into this new book is a lot of work. Then, I have to find a new person to do the layout of the ebook and redesign of the other ebooks. It’s a long process.
14. In what ways can I re-structure my time? Stick to my schedule. Put aside me time and hide my electronic devices so I can actually have it. I always put me time last.
15. How have I allowed fear of failure hold me back? I really don’t let that hold me back in business. In terms of my love life, yes sometimes I do feel failure. I don’t fear much in life. I am not even a mom yet, but I think raising my future children to be God-fearing, smart, independent, kind and more will be the toughest job I will ever have.
16. Where has self-doubt taken over? See 3 and 4. I let things come into my mind and I think I am not worthy of it so I just stop. I will think, “oh that guy is out of my league,” or “I am not pretty enough.” Remember this is me being honest. Yes, I know I am pretty and yes I know I am worthy of any guy I want, but doubt slips in at unexpected times. Doubt kicked my butt with ICB Consults. I didn’t think anyone would want to work with me or buy my books. I didn’t think people would see me as source. Oh boy… was I wrong.
17. When have I felt most alive? The night I announced Shop ICB was closing. I knew, but the world didn’t. It was amazing to let the cat out of the bag and not back out of it. It was freeing.
18. How have I taught others to respect me? I have let people know I don’t play games. Try me if you want.
19. How can I improve my relationships? I need to be honest when things are not working. I shouldn’t be upset when I have to tell people no. I need to stand by my word. I am the only person I can control in any situation.
20. Have I been unfair to anyone? Yes, to people I judge without knowing them. I believe the things I hear about others and go off to share with others. It is something I am actively working on in 2014.
21. Who do I need to forgive? Myself. I need to be okay with not achieving everything. I have to let go of the preconceived notions of how my life should be based on what society says. I need to truly let go and let God move me in 2014.
22. Where is it time to let go? Early this year, I wrote burn letters. They are letters you write your feelings on *cues Drake* to tell people or circumstances goodbye. After you write those down, you burn them. I wrote several letters that day, but I am still letting people into my life that shouldn’t be there. With social media, it’s hard to kick people out. I feel I really need to let go of the dead weight (aka those people) so I can truly go to new heights.
23. What old habits would I like to release? All those negative money habits I had. I want them to stay in the past.
24. What new habits would I like to cultivate? Being proactive in my life.
25. How can I be kind to myself? Love myself for all my flaws and know life is going to be okay even when I am having a bad hair day.
It was pretty tough to answer these questions. Mainly because that meant I had to truly be honest with myself. That is my intention for next year to be honest with myself even when it hurts.
Photographer: Brittanie Reid
